South Carolina, I Think.

I watched American Idol tonight.

It sucked.

American Idol in Dallas

A lot of yelling, mostly off key.

The girl that thinks Carrie Underwood looks like her has a nice voice but is too arrogant for my taste.

Ms. Hatfield is joyful, indeed, it will be interesting to see what she does in Hollywood.

The final contestant has a nice voice but we'll have to see if she can develop her own sound as opposed to developing her impersonations of everyone else.

Nothing too interesting.

Ok, apparently that was the first day or the first half or something...

Douglas is a freak. What is the arm movement thing about? And the circling the room and the funny breathing? Scary.

Angela is totally Broadway. Her husband is a hottie though.

The young man that is convinced that American Idol is really the Iowa Caucus is cute in a dorky way, but he has a little bit of a Josh Groban voice surprisingly. He's on to Hollywood! Yay! First they made him promise not to do "weird things" with his hair and wear a red leather jacket like Clay Aiken.

Celine Dion impersonators should stay home. All of them.

Colton Swan is a great name. Funky hair, but good name. He can sing pretty good, y'all. He sounds a lot like Wes King to me, which is a compliment for those of you that aren't familiar with the christian-country genre. He also looks a bit like Blake from last season.

Drew is a cute tractor guy. I agree with Paula though, he has a good voice but doesn't have any fire to his performance.

Kyle thinks he's a rocker, but I think he's gay. I don't mean lame, I mean I think he's a homosexual. Not that homosexuals can't rock, but he's just a total conflict. It's just weird. His singing is about as good as his bottle-tan.

Thanks for the weird "Since U Been Gone" montage.

I do wish that the producers would let less of the weirdo-just-here-for-publicity people get through to the audition room, as much fun as it is to watch the crazy guy bow to Ryan Seacrest. Although I will say it was pretty fun to watch Simon, Randy and Ryan enjoy the "I Am Your Brother" ballad, swaying and raising fists as Paula does interpretive dance.

Next week is San Diego, where I highly doubt anyone will call Simon their "Glory."

Another Confession

This one's not about picking my nose, for which I am sure you a grateful.

This time I'm confessing that I am a big fan of American Idol. Tonight is the season premier and I'm thrilled.

First stop for auditions is Philadelphia. I like Paula's outfit and hairdo. Simon looks exactly the same... Randy is all "yeah dawg" as usual.

First contestant Joey has lost 205 lbs. and I don't know what he sounded like before, but he has a great voice and did a spot-on rendition of Maroon 5's Sunday Morning. They sent him through to Hollywood.

I didn't catch where the contestant in the orange shirt hails from, but he has been "waiting for the right woman that he can love from up the top of hair down to nipple". And he can't sing. Bee Gees or otherwise. But boy is he enthusiastic!

The poor young man in the chartreuse suit cannot sing. He needs to stick to tour guiding.

Stinkerbell doesn't think much of American Idol. She's hiding her head. Just in time for the bad ones. Boring and Horrible.

And then miraculously someone who can sing! The young man singing "The Blues" is great. Jose is good - singing in espanol or english. A few more yesses, and a crazy lady taking off her shoes to dance around.

Of course I have to root for the Oregonian, Kristy. She has a beautiful voice and I like her instincts.

The gentleman in the cloak should have kept it on. I don't understand why people bother to dress up in a ridiculous manner to audition when they are clearly not about being a musician. But he's going to get his chest waxed and come back.

I have always felt that I can tell 90% of the time if a contestant can sing or not prior to opening their mouth based solely on their confidence and comfortability. Those that seem quirky or uncomfortable often cannot sing. Those that are comfortable in their skin and speak confidently are most often great singers.

So far I'm right on. Paul seemed nervous and then broke into his love song for Paul Abdul. He's a crazy person. He has an ok voice but his songwriting skills are awful. "If she were a dog, I would walk her, but instead I'll just stalk her". Ick.

Beth seems pretty confident, I'm interested to hear her sing. She has a nice voice. Maybe a little bit too much affectation, but I think she's talented and should move on. She has a very nice delivery. Simon doesn't think she'd stand out, but Randy and Paula say yes. I think she'll make it at least to the second round of Hollywood cuts.

I honestly didn't expect the Star Wars girl to have a very good voice, but it honestly wasn't bad. I do agree that she wouldn't have probably gotten far, but I think it would have been interesting to let her through.

I am looking forward to this season and am looking forward to the auditions continuing in Dallas, Texas.