Saturday, July 14, 2007

How Many Cats Do You Have?

I have three.

So far, that's the most I've had at one time but some people think it's too many. One of these people is my friend Sue, who very kindly sent me the action figure seen at right.

The back of the box asks the following questions:
  1. Do you get excited when you hear a can opener?
  2. Do you think cats are smarter than people?
  3. Do you feel Tom is more talented than Jerry?
  4. Do you have more cats than ex-boyfriends?
  5. Do you bring new boyfriends home so the cats can meet them?
  6. Do you later break up with them because the cats weren't impressed?
  7. Do you spend more on doctor bills for your cats than for yourself?
  8. Do you buy the ice cream your cats prefer instead of the kind you like?
  9. Can you tell your cats apart by the roughness of their tongues?
  10. Have you ever warned a guest not to sit on a specific piece of furniture because it belongs to the cats?
  11. Do you own more than once piece of clothing with a cat on it?
  12. Do you have a website devoted to your cats? Do you have a website for each cat?
  13. Do you spend more on Christmas presents for your cat than for your family?
  14. Do you buy more than one kind of cat food because a few of your cats are picky eaters?
  15. Have you ever had to explain to a police officer that the stuff in the bag really is catnip?
  16. Do you feel that the ancient Egyptian tradition of cat worship is the one true religion?
  17. Is the sheet of instructions for watching your cats while you're on vacation longer than a page? Two pages? What vacation?
If you answered yes to 7 or more of these questions, you may be a crazy cat person.

Sue very kindly checked off the questions she felt applied to me.

At the bottom she kindly inscribed "Sorry Marisa, you're screwed!"

The truth of the matter is
  1. No, because I only have a manual can opener and it doesn't make any noise.
  2. Sometimes, depending on the cat and the people. Minx is smarter than a lot of people.
  3. No, Tom was a dummy.
  4. No. I only have 3 cats and I have about 4 or 5 times that many ex-boyfriends.
  5. Yes.
  6. Yes. Ok, not really, but if my cats don't like someone I usually don't end up liking them in the long run, either.
  7. Yes. At one time I spent about $450 on a cat to have his teeth cleaned. Twerp had some nasty teeth and required anesthesia to have them taken care of.
  8. No, but they aren't too picky about the kind of ice cream they like, either. Chou will eat anything. Chips, ice cream, corn, peas, and beer. Maui eats anything humans will eat and loves dog food. Minx eats plastic bags.
  9. No, but I can tell which one of them has jumped on the bed in the dark by the weight of their step.
  10. Yes. I don't think the cat tree would hold very many people, anyway.
  11. Yes. I have several pairs of socks with cats on them.
  12. Yes. Thanks to Catster.
  13. No. I spend way too much on my significant others and about half as much on my cats.
  14. No. I only buy one kind of cat food because they all eat out of each other's dishes.
  15. No, but it would be fun.
  16. YES. Minx is the queen.
  17. Yes, No, and we go on vacation!
Still, I have had 3 cats at a time consistently for the last 7 years. Before that I had at least one cat as far back as third grade, and I know that we had cats when I was a very young child, as well.

I admit that I talk about my cats a lot. In my defense, they are pretty great cats. People that don't like cats fall in love instantly with Chou.

Wouldn't you?

(R.I.P. Smudgie I, Ajax, Smudgie II, Mocha, Scamperoo, Twerp, Jackson, and Crispin)

2 comments:

Jill said...

I also have three cats: Lucy, Aspen and George, in order of seniority.
I think the action figure is hilarious.
As for the questions:
Do you get excited when you hear a can opener? - NO
Do you think cats are smarter than people? - SOME PEOPLE, YES
Do you feel Tom is more talented than Jerry? NO OPINION
Do you have more cats than ex-boyfriends? NO
Do you bring new boyfriends home so the cats can meet them? NOT UNTIL I THINK THE CATS CAN HANDLE IT IF WE BREAK UP
Do you later break up with them because the cats weren't impressed? HA. NO
Do you spend more on doctor bills for your cats than for yourself? ACTUALLY, YES. BUT I ADOPTED A STRAY WITH BLADDER ISSUES (GEORGE) AND HAVE A 16-YEAR-OLD CAT (LUCY) WITH A SKIN CONDITION
Do you buy the ice cream your cats prefer instead of the kind you like? NO. THEY PREFER SORBET
Can you tell your cats apart by the roughness of their tongues? GROSS. JUST GROSS.
Have you ever warned a guest not to sit on a specific piece of furniture because it belongs to the cats? YES. BUT ONLY TO SPARE THEM THE CAT-HAIR-COVERED CLOTHES
Do you own more than once piece of clothing with a cat on it? NO CAT-THEMES CLOTHES IN MY CLOSET
Do you have a website devoted to your cats? Do you have a website for each cat? NOPE
Do you spend more on Christmas presents for your cat than for your family? NOPE
Do you buy more than one kind of cat food because a few of your cats are picky eaters? NOT FOR PICKINESS. FOR HEALTH REASONS. GEORGE NEEDS LOW-MINERAL FOOD FOR HIS BLADDER, LUCY NEEDS A SKIN CONDITIONER FOR HER ISSUES
Have you ever had to explain to a police officer that the stuff in the bag really is catnip? NOPE. BUT THAT IS FUNNY.
Do you feel that the ancient Egyptian tradition of cat worship is the one true religion? I DON'T REALLY BELIEVE IN RELIGION
Is the sheet of instructions for watching your cats while you're on vacation longer than a page? Two pages? What vacation? NOPE. MY LIST IS FEED THEM, GIVE THEM WATER, CLEAN UP THEIR CAT MESSES.

But some people might still consider me a crazy cat lady.

ReesePie said...

And I welcome you to the fold, Jill. :)