Wives do not enjoy doing dishes. If your wife is doing dishes and you say "Oh, honey, I can take care of those" she is thinking "then why didn't you do them already?"
Wives also do not enjoy having husbands that are total jackasses. (Don't worry, this does not apply to my husband, I'm just worked up over a friend's husband's idiocy)
If you are too much of a coward to admit in the first place that you CANNOT or WILL NOT choose to be faithful to your future wife, DO NOT get married.
It is true, women love weddings. We want to tie a guy down. We want commitment. When we say we don't, it's because it's what you want to hear and we think that by saying we want "an open relationship" you will think we are the COOLEST THING EVER and stay with us and ultimately WANT to be exclusive with us.
If you have doubts that you are going to be able to follow the bonds of holy matrimony, PLEASE chicken out. Do it. Go right on and bawk bawk bawk right out of the church.
Chickening out of your marriage after three years and two MORE kids is NOT ok. Deciding that the "easy" way out is too announce you have "issues" and "addictions" and think that those things will excuse your actions is NOT ok.
Your actions are inexcusable. When you are legally married and telling your wife that there is a chance for reconciliation, it is not ok to be spending meaningful time with another woman in any way - texting, emailing, phone calls, and above all, sleeping with them.
You have acted out of cowardice. You have acted like your existing family does not matter. You have betrayed your five children by behaving as if their mothers do not matter in your world.
Your children are very intelligent and are going to grow up with the knowledge that their father cannot be expected to follow the rules. They will believe it is ok to bend them for themselves as well. Your daughter that is now a teenager is going to decide very soon that it is ok to behave in a way that is not respectful to her mother by your example. She is also going to decide very soon that it is ok for her to have sex in a meaningless environment, and with someone that does not care about her well being.
I am sad. I am heartbroken. You were a brother to me for many years and I am so disappointed that I am physically sick.
I will continue to pray for you. Not because I have been perfect, I have absolutely NOT been perfect. But I do expect those I love to keep me accountable and I expect those who love you to do the same.